I am not one to jump into any decision quickly. I have a analytical brain and before I decide on something, I have to know that I know that I know it is right. I have to see every choice from every possible angle, pros and cons. I drive my husband...crazy. But that's why God put us together, right? He is the one who would make a quick decision and sometimes quick is best. I am the ponderer...
Well, our bible study group is studying James, Mercy Triumphs by Beth Moore. James is not a book that dances around the facts. He, the Lord's brother, shoots straight from the hip. Many have noted, Beth said, that although Paul spoke of wonderful heart warming grace along with his tougher truths that we hold so dear, James' teaching resembles no one more than his brother. Many of Jesus's words were tough to swallow. No in between, love me when you feel like it business for Jesus. This is an all or nothing faith we are called to, brothers and sisters.
So, here we go.. jumping in to James 1:2 "consider it joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." And James 1:6-7 "when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does." When you are reading that we can ask God for wisdom anytime about anything, we are encouraged and heartened. Then we read, but wait.. when you ask you must not doubt. You must not doubt??!! Really! Jesus, you are saying that you will answer me and I will know the answer in my heart and if it's harder one day than it was, I still must know the way you have laid out for me will not change? Really? I quote Beth here: "It means that we bring all that we are to all that He is and all that we need to all He can give. It means we quit tossing this way and that, backstroking toward God one minute and dog-paddling for the world the next."
My husband and I are making some big decisions right now. One of those has been on my heart for some time. I have finally felt some peace about a direction that God has pointed me in. This peace sometimes is fleeting, though. There are times when I realize how hard this new direction will be, and part of me screams...no, that just can't be right. No.. surely I had it wrong and I just need to try this and maybe it will work. Father, help me know that I know that I know.
Here is how the Father has been turning me back down the path that he chose. Sweet Father that He is. James....James....James.... My "e-votional" on James 1:5 today... prayer from a respected man of God yesterday and he mentioned James 1:5.... a kick in the butt "get going on what I asked you to do" devotional today in my Streams in the Dessert devotional today. From Streams "Quite often we fail to receive the blessing He has ready for us because we are not moving forward with Him....There are times when it takes strength simply to sit still, but there are also times when we are to move forward with a confident step."
There are even more ways that He is speaking loud and clear, and I am so grateful. So loud actually that I begin to hope that the new direction I am headed is right and he doesn't have even bigger changes in place for me.
And then in my homework for my study, James, today the entire lesson speaks like Beth Moore wrote in under divine inspiration for Bethanne to read on January 26! Which of course, she did. Because that's just how my sweet Holy Father works. So that I know that I know that I know. That I know.
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