Transformation of a Jehovah's Witness - Part 1

Eight short years ago I was lost, and living in the darkness of false religion; a religion I had walked away from more than a decade earlier. Somehow I still had a tight grip on the place where God should be in my heart. A place that should be full with love, hope, and peace was bringing me guilt, bitterness, and emptiness. I had not prayed in 10 years.  The overwhelming guilt that flavored my life was an undercurrent of "I am not doing enough. I am not living the life I should be living. God is displeased with me." Jesus was not a name I knew intimately. 

Today I am a product of transformation. I have been transformed of character, spirit, and heart, but most of all, this dawn of truth has brought precious freedom to my life. Freedom from the guilt, and freedom to know the truth of the real story of the gospel. A life giving truth, packed with power, peace and comfort. This truth is something that so many others have discovered that Jehovah's Witnesses are blind to: GRACE.  Grace amazing enough to fill in all the holes that an imperfect soul leaves as it treads through this life. Grace that means when I fail, as I often do, my God carries me until I am strong enough to put my feet on the ground again. Grace that means when I turn to Him in repentance knowing, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:19)  Grace that reassures me when I stay connected to Him, through prayer, study of the scriptures, and praise, I am always enough. I do not have to strive by works to please a body of religion.  The acceptance by my church and my God, the only thing that really matters, is NOT BASED ON MY WORKS. "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast." (Eph. 2:8-9) 

I am free to serve Him in the unique way He leads me. It may not look like my fellow Christians, and they may not understand, but I am free to live the life He has called me to live and to not worry about man's opinion. "...not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts." (1 Thes. 2:4)

It is not my head but my heart that is involved when I serve. My heart loves to serve because my heart has been changed and I am in love with the God who saved me. It is my heart's desire to share with others how much he has helped me and to help others understand the Bible. It is also my heart's desire to reach out in whatever ways He calls me at each and every point of my life. Some days it may be simply loving the hard to love ones in my life (who closely resemble my husband and kids). It may be just simply striving to stop being the one who is hard to love. 

I still have struggles and pain in my life, but I am facing it with a new heart. "Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you." (Ezekial 36:26-27)

I know Jesus. He is my Rock and my Wonderful Counselor. The Prince of Peace who is a real and present help in my day to day in my life. I owe him my sanity, my life, my devotion, and my obedience; which is the story of this blog and others to follow. Yes, Lord. Your will, not mine. "I will not restrain my lips, O LORD, You know. I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation." (Psalm 40: 9b-10)