Transformation of a Jehovah's Witness - Part 1

Eight short years ago I was lost, and living in the darkness of false religion; a religion I had walked away from more than a decade earlier. Somehow I still had a tight grip on the place where God should be in my heart. A place that should be full with love, hope, and peace was bringing me guilt, bitterness, and emptiness. I had not prayed in 10 years.  The overwhelming guilt that flavored my life was an undercurrent of "I am not doing enough. I am not living the life I should be living. God is displeased with me." Jesus was not a name I knew intimately. 

Today I am a product of transformation. I have been transformed of character, spirit, and heart, but most of all, this dawn of truth has brought precious freedom to my life. Freedom from the guilt, and freedom to know the truth of the real story of the gospel. A life giving truth, packed with power, peace and comfort. This truth is something that so many others have discovered that Jehovah's Witnesses are blind to: GRACE.  Grace amazing enough to fill in all the holes that an imperfect soul leaves as it treads through this life. Grace that means when I fail, as I often do, my God carries me until I am strong enough to put my feet on the ground again. Grace that means when I turn to Him in repentance knowing, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:19)  Grace that reassures me when I stay connected to Him, through prayer, study of the scriptures, and praise, I am always enough. I do not have to strive by works to please a body of religion.  The acceptance by my church and my God, the only thing that really matters, is NOT BASED ON MY WORKS. "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast." (Eph. 2:8-9) 

I am free to serve Him in the unique way He leads me. It may not look like my fellow Christians, and they may not understand, but I am free to live the life He has called me to live and to not worry about man's opinion. "...not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts." (1 Thes. 2:4)

It is not my head but my heart that is involved when I serve. My heart loves to serve because my heart has been changed and I am in love with the God who saved me. It is my heart's desire to share with others how much he has helped me and to help others understand the Bible. It is also my heart's desire to reach out in whatever ways He calls me at each and every point of my life. Some days it may be simply loving the hard to love ones in my life (who closely resemble my husband and kids). It may be just simply striving to stop being the one who is hard to love. 

I still have struggles and pain in my life, but I am facing it with a new heart. "Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you." (Ezekial 36:26-27)

I know Jesus. He is my Rock and my Wonderful Counselor. The Prince of Peace who is a real and present help in my day to day in my life. I owe him my sanity, my life, my devotion, and my obedience; which is the story of this blog and others to follow. Yes, Lord. Your will, not mine. "I will not restrain my lips, O LORD, You know. I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation." (Psalm 40: 9b-10)

Art - The Why

How It Began

There is something elemental to my soul about creating something beautiful.  I will begin this by readily admitting, I am totally indebted to others who created many amazing signs before I did.  In 2011, I began my Pinterest boards and loved all the different styles of signs that I found, but  was truly inspired to create my own when I saw one painted with a bible verse.  Inspiring, life-giving scripture on a beautiful, background of wood.  As I had always thought there was a lack of cool, scripture art for the walls, I began wondering if I could do this.

Names of Christ

I began by buying a few pre-made stencils and started teaching myself, through trial and error.  And much internet searching.  "How-to's."  (There are not many "how-to's" to explained the details of what I needed to know, so that is maybe one of my next projects....more "how -to's" on my blog!)   After I got the painting process down, I progressed to designing my own stencils.
The design step is so much fun.  Typography... classy....simple... there are so many options.  My first design idea and the closest to my heart is the "Names of Christ" sign.  I was inspired and pray you are too, by the One who loves me and died for me.  The One who freed my soul and gives me amazing Grace.   

A Former Jehovah's Witness

I have not always known the gospel of the grace of Jesus.  I was once a Jehovah's Witness and was blind to the life giving truth of his death on the cross and all that it bought me.  I had no idea of the battle that was won that day and the victory that could be mine if only I claimed it.  
Thankfully, God always had a plan to bring me out of the guilt and confusion the religion had left in my mind.  The dawn of truth truly began when I started a women's bible study called "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore.  Such a fire that  first bible study began in me, that I have not stopped studying His word in the 8 years since.  God  placed a desire in me to truly, know Him through personal time in prayer.  This is a desire I have followed and it is a crucial part of who I am.  My prayer time and personal study of His word every day is as vitally important to me as food and water.  

Where We Are Now, Homeschoolers

I am now a homeschool mom to three, something that I never dreamed I would be capable of.  The longer we walk on this journey the more and more grateful we all are for the opportunity.  It is an amazing gift, to be able to shape not only my children's education and learn what inspires them to grow intellectually, but to shape their character as well.  To set before them a feast of inspiring stories of courage and nobility. Stories of the impact Jesus makes on the world through the lives of missionaries and His people. To set aside the time they need to truly learn the Bible at this wonderful young age and know He is writing those words on their hearts.  Thank you, Jesus.

The Name

I never thought to call myself an artist, until the day a precious neighbor came curiously peeking in my garage to see what I had going on.  She loved what I was doing said she never knew I had an interest in art!  I began to see the signs in a whole new way.  I knew my story of transformation would impact others, so therefore the name of my shop... Faith Art Transformations... or to fit the space for an Etsy shop: FaithArtTransform.  

 

The Art

There had to be something unique about my work.  The background was crucial to me.  These pieces of wood would also need to be transformed, into works of art.  I began playing around with paint and two tone finishes.  Glazes and washes.  The finishes were a difficult process to perfect, but worth the effort. 
As much as I enjoy coming up with an inspiring sign, I also enjoy working with my clients to make their ideas a reality.  I love being able to produce something that someone else dreamed up and adding my own touches along the way. 
But most of all, yes, I love being able to take words from the pages of scripture that bring comfort, hope, peace, life and more and create a beautiful work of art with them.  I love that when I give a piece to someone I can give them something that has been prayed over and will have it's own story with it wherever it goes.  

I Couldn't Do It

I couldn't do it....my response to every little nudge on my heart or every conversation with a homeschooling mom. What is it about God that when we say CAN'T He says CAN? Do you wonder sometimes if He is up there chuckling at every plan we lay or every fear we run from. He knows what he has equipped us for. He knows that if we really listen to that still, small voice and follow it we can do more than we ever believed or imagined. It may look different than we planned. It may be that we never fully appreciate the beauty of it on this side of heaven. But there will be an incomparable peace that flows from a place that is born of walking in obedience to the Creator of the heavens and the earth.  There will flow a new kindled desire to know more of that peace and the source of it till our hearts overflow with such joy and love that it bubbles forth on those in our life like the water it was intended to be. Water, life giving water that never runs out. 

Obedience... Lives transformed. We are a homeschooling family now. Just beginning to uncover the jewels that are buried in this current walk of my life. There is a new exciting element to my life now. Learning. With kids. Alongside. Supporting them..encouraging them. Discovering talents and inspirations for what will ultimately shape choices in their lives. 

Obedience. Yes. It is good. 

Let go ..... and LET GOD!

We are in the middle of chaos right now.  In the high speed way of life that most of us know, that just sounds like the norm.  But my chaos is always relative. Relative to how much I am willing to let go...... and LET GOD. Open that tightly closed fist that wants to keep pulling the problems back out of His hands.  The only hands that are capable of running my life smoothly.  

I am always amazed at how calm I can be when I am willing to BE STILL.  When things that I have prayed about and prayed about and prayed about STILL WON'T CHANGE!  When the entire balance of my life seems to be upended and waiting to spill out.  I can BE STILL.  I can praise God for answered prayers for others.  And have I seen Him work in the lives of those around me this past week.  Wow! I have seen the "goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Ps. 27:13  He is so good and so capable of the big things.  When we honestly, earnestly turn the things that seem impossible over to him, he rewards us.  In His time.  He strengthens my faith in so many ways.  I have a fresh new perspective from seeing his Hand at work this week.  I can have His strength to endure my trials.  I can hold my head up and smile. Enjoy my life.  

But....there's always a but isn't there?  There I am balancing, peaceful yes, but still I am balancing in that little peace that He gave me and another day begins. Today the day that would not end began.  My car is in the shop..... hefty bill awaiting.  Little one was sick with a stomach bug yesterday and my 9 year old had to reschedule her birthday party because of her brother.  Imagine the drama... yeah, knew you could.  AND it was a birthday party that fell on the day of her actual birthday! How cool is that! How devastating that instead of having the fun sleepover that you planned with your friends you have to spend your birthday with your mom and sick baby brother.  Daddy and big brother have an exciting trip to Auburn University for a Science Olympiad he is competing in.  No, you don't get to go dear, sorry.  So, Mama has spent two days doing everything in my power to make it not so terrible for the terribly dissappointed newly 9 year old and helping a 4 year old to understand that it is not cool to eat anyting you want when you are invariably going to throw it all back up soon.  And not nearly enough time staying connected to My Vine! 

God always has a way of making me realize that I am losing my power source.  I manage ok for a little while.  Coasting hours... sometimes, even days.  Eventually little things irritates me to no end and then finally my feathers are ruffled beyond recognition.  In fact my daughter at one point even told me this afternoon that I looked different today.  What do you think she saw?  Wild eyed, wild haired, one horned-flying purple people eater? Hmm.. 

And yes, this describes every afternoon of summer vacation.  Ha! No, it's not that bad.  Reality is I am only like that .......... every other day.  But I know that a better life awaits me.  I can feel it! I meet homeschooling moms who do it all year long with 6 kids!

So, there I was at the tip of the point, balancing with major life issues on the line and all the little stuff too and I wasn't having my quiet time with God.  Dum, dum, dum... imagine the notes you hear before something really bad happens (I don't have to work to hard to imagine it here.  My 11 yr old plays it for us frequently on our piano.) And the words from the kids' devotional Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young come back to me.  "When you come to me in prayer with a thankful heart, I give you enough Peace for today. I will not give you enough for tomorrow- only today.  That is because I want you to come to Me tomorrow- and each day after that.  If I give you enough Peace to last you your whole life, you might fall into the trap of thinking that you didn't need Me. I designed you to need me every minute. So come to me every day with a thankful attitude, knowing that I will give you Peace for today."  I was touting the incredibly profound, kid-friendly devotions in this book to a friend with kid issues and I wound up reading out of it to her exactly the words that I needed to hear myself.  Words that have just come back to me.  Hmmm. God Breeze??

Yep, I knew I was in the need of some QT with God.  This is what I love about bible study.  I am always accountable for keeping up with usually 5 days worth of home study time in these studies.  Right now we are doing Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore, a study on the life and ministry of John.  I am excited and refreshed beyond explanation by delving into the life and times of Jesus's life and that of his earliest disciples.  Bible study is like the blood that flows through my veins.  It keeps me alive.  I don't know why God put such a need in me to learn His Word but when I am slack in my study time... shew.  My hope takes a nose dive, I begin to doubt myself and the battle for my mind is left defenseless.  It is IMPERATIVE!  So two day of study later (one hour) and I am once again on the right track with my thoughts in the right place. And hopefully the dragon lady is no where around??!! 

Describe the change?  OK, so as I begin to read scripture truths and read aloud some powerful scriptures like Acts 15:8 about God knowing our hearts and testifying to us by giving us the Holy Spirit, my mind sharpens and my thoughts focus and I begin to feel hope return.  The Holy Spirit is actually doing a work in my heart and I feel myself respond to Him.

Studying about a meeting of the "Pillars" of the early church. James, the unbelieving half brother of Jesus who became a leader of the early church.  Peter, who publicly denied Jesus three times and had enough faith to return and become the powerful man of God he was destined to be. John, the young disciple who asked to be at Christ's side in the kingdom of Heaven and wanted to call down fire from heaven to destroy the Samaritans.  And Paul, the converted persecuter of Christians.  These guys were the Pillars of the early church!  I feel my confidence return.  Yeah, God can use me.  The converted Jehovah's Witness with a story to tell!

Rev. 12:11 "They overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony.."   Oh, Accuser of my mind, you are defeated.  1 John 4:4 "The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." I am realizing my place in the big picture.  My eyes have been opened to the hold the enemy temporarily had on me.  My WORDS have overcome!  Booyah!

That's what the study of God's word does for me.  I will let go and LET GOD!  Ahhh. Feels better already. 
 

James Chapter 1 Speaks

I am not one to jump into any decision quickly.  I have a analytical brain and before I decide on something, I have to know that I know that I know it is right.  I have to see every choice from every possible angle, pros and cons.  I drive my husband...crazy.  But that's why God put us together, right?  He is the one who would make a quick decision and sometimes quick is best.  I am the ponderer...

Well, our bible study group is studying James, Mercy Triumphs by Beth Moore.  James is not a book that dances around the facts.  He, the Lord's brother, shoots straight from the hip.  Many have noted, Beth said, that although Paul spoke of wonderful heart warming grace along with his tougher truths that we hold so dear, James' teaching resembles no one more than his brother.  Many of Jesus's words were tough to swallow.  No in between, love me when you feel like it business for Jesus.  This is an all or nothing faith we are called to, brothers and sisters.

So, here we go.. jumping in to James 1:2 "consider it joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  And James 1:6-7 "when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does."  When you are reading that we can ask God for wisdom anytime about anything, we are encouraged and heartened. Then we read, but wait.. when you ask you must not doubt.  You must not doubt??!!  Really! Jesus, you are saying that you will answer me and I will know the answer in my heart and if it's harder one day than it was, I still must know the way you have laid out for me will not change? Really? I quote Beth here: "It means that we bring all that we are to all that He is and all that we need to all He can give.  It means we quit tossing this way and that, backstroking toward God one minute and dog-paddling for the world the next."

My husband and I are making some big decisions right now.  One of those has been on my heart for some time.  I have finally felt some peace about a direction that God has pointed me in.  This peace sometimes is fleeting, though.  There are times when I realize how hard this new direction will be, and part of me screams...no, that just can't be right.  No.. surely I had it wrong and I just need to try this and maybe it will work.  Father, help me know that I know that I know. 

Here is how the Father has been turning me back down the path that he chose.  Sweet Father that He is.  James....James....James....  My "e-votional" on James 1:5 today... prayer from a respected man of God yesterday and he mentioned James 1:5.... a kick in the butt "get going on what I asked you to do" devotional today in my Streams in the Dessert devotional today.  From Streams "Quite often we fail to receive the blessing He has ready for us because we are not moving forward with Him....There are times when it takes strength simply to sit still, but there are also times when we are to move forward with a confident step." 

There are even more ways that He is speaking loud and clear, and I am so grateful.  So loud actually that I begin to hope that the new direction I am headed is right and he doesn't have even bigger changes in place for me. 

And then in my homework for my study, James, today the entire lesson speaks like Beth Moore wrote in under divine inspiration for Bethanne to read on January 26! Which of course, she did.  Because that's just how my sweet Holy Father works. So that I know that I know that I know. That I know.

Faith, Art, Transformation - The Why

The thought that God put in my head and in my heart, that inspired this path I am currently on.  I have known forever that I wanted to make art with God's words.  I have just never been an artist.  I have a talent for interior design that I was blessed with, like my Mama's.  But I will just say I have never developed my artistic abilities.  So, one day I was on Pinterest (LOVE IT) and saw something I really, REALLY liked.  And the seed was planted. I had been seriously considering going back to work in the media world.  Of course, going back to work full time for me means leaving parts of my life behind.  Huge parts. Not only would I have to consider where my children would stay when they are not in school, but I have to give up my Usborne Books book fair business, and my "Women of Impact" Monday morning bible study.  Our little group that God has grown from a few women sitting around a kitchen table to a room packed with women representing 7 different area churches!  God has changed me from someone who walked into the leadership of that group reluctantly, to someone who actually is comfortable in front of 20 + women. Wow.  THIS IS HUGE.  My biggest fear was public speaking.  Today, I continue to follow Him, trusting that He will give me whatever I need to do what He has asked.  So, I begin on this thrilling journey into endless possibilities that He has laid out for me.

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My scripture "words of life"


Yes, yes I know I still haven't actually said what "Plan A" is... and I have no idea why I called it Plan A when I can't even show you pictures of my ideas yet.  I just do things a little backwards sometimes. Ask my husband, he will agree.  But about this I will say, it is inspirations... mainly from scripture.. made into something beautiful for homes.  Yes, my original inspiration is from God's words. Life changing words. Transforming words.  This is a picture of my "Words of Life" cards that have become such an integral part of me. 

I have taken Beth Moore's advice and taken scriptures over the years and kept them with me at all times.  I read them in the mornings when I can, or I keep them on my bathroom mirror and on my refrigerator and read them all day long.  And when I say I read them, I mean I read them out loud and make them apply directly to me.
Eph. 4:2 "I will be humble and gentle in every way. I will be patient with everyone and lovingly accept others."
Phil 3:beg. in vs. 5 "Today, my gentleness will be evident to everyone. I will not be anxious about anything, but I will, with thanks and praise, make my requests to God.  And HIS PEACE, which is above all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus.  I will think about things that are true, noble, pure, excellent, praiseworthy and admirable.  And the GOD of PEACE will be with me TODAY!"
I did this first as individual scriptures handwritten in an index card notebook, and they have now grown to the point that I have to use my computer to lay them out in index card style and print them out. I save them and add to them, as more are laid on my heart.  

These words are TRANSFORMING! They are words that spoken out of our mouths, become life!
Deut. 30: 18-20 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." I believe that when we choose to speak positive words, particularly scripture, into our lives, that God says OK she's with me and now "So it is!" He sets things into action according to what we believe AND what we speak.  You never know the path your words are taking you, until you stop and think about what you are saying. 

So, yes, this "Faith, Art & Transformation" comes from a place of transformation in my own life.  It comes from a gratefulness rooted deep in my soul for the "words" of life that scripture sets out before us.  I am a transformation.  Jesus IS the Lord of my life, but like everyone else I have my bad days.  Those days when the busyness of our life keeps me from making time for God. Moments when anxiety sets in and I forget to stay connected to the Vine, to let go and let God.  But this one simple habit, can make the difference.  Words that speak life into my soul. 
John 7:38 "Because I believe in Jesus, from my innermost being flow rivers of living water."
May they speak life into yours. Rivers of living water, I pray.